lol

lol
playing poker until almost forget to write my blog
i already found it boring to play that game
plat for 3 hours but still maintain at 20k++
ahhh...gave up

we good back again...lol
it's really my fault
i knew it
but i really don't know how to change
nobody teach me
nobody advice me
everyone just tell me that
''do something for your future''
''you can do it'' ''don't simply give up, i knew you can''
lol
too wide for me
i don't know where to start
and how to start

since then
today i suddenly realize that my bf really love me so so so so so much
although i gave up myself
and said many thing that hurts him
he still don't even think to give me up
and try hard to maintain this relationship
i found that he's so lovely
i love him!!
but then
i felt guilty and pity of him because having a gf like me
sorry
i really hope that i can change
but i found myself being worse day by day
anyone know any physiology doctor at kuantan?
i need it
to cure myself
im serious!!!
im suffer of being whom am i
and suffer of hurting my beloved

anywhoos
my mood is getting better today
hope that it will be fine tomorrow
god bless me
and you

loves
chloe tan

who am i?

who am i?
good question huh?
what do i want?
easy but i can't answer at ALL
what i wish?
everyone got a wish
but i don't even know what i wish for
ridiculous

having a bad mood today
due to the happening happen yesterday...
my mum scolded me of playing com until late night and tell me not to be so foolish of being chat with my bf coz he sleep late too
what the hell!!
what's wrong with her?
no matter what's the time i sleep
i still can wake up at 9am and managed to go for work every morning
that's enough already is it?
why she should scold me and sent some f**king message to me?
i was extremely bad mood and besides
my handphone was not functioning
bad luck brings me to worst
i scolded my bf when he asked me what happen
he called me and scolded me of what i wrote in my personal message
that's 'mcb!!'
this pull me to the higher level of anger
i don't even wish to talked to him and sleep straight away

but the weird thing was
i cried when i fell asleep
for no reason
i was so sad recently
maybe it's consider as moody
easy get angry
even for now...

today we had a cold conversation
just a few word and end very soon for every topic
this made my mood worse
i said break up with him
just for some days
for us to cold dowm
nothing wrong with him
but coz im in a bad mood recently
i don't wish to make him bad mood too
but he refused it
and never reply my message anymore
he's asleep i think
never be solved
im suffer of my status now
arrrgh!!

this evening
went to gelora with khai shin
looking at her who ask me what happen and try to make me smile
i don't even can smile
just make some weird expression to pretend nothing happen
but i'm sad
i think she can feel it
just don't want mention it
i wish to find her more often
since i got no place to go
but i seems to be a light bulb between she and her bf

im headache now
maybe thinking too much
i know that im not a good gf
and i think i really got a mental problem
i gonna see the doctor soon
actually
the main reason i wanna break up is i want him to be happy
i knew that he's not happy being with me
even suffer
i felt so guilty to see him like that
i already gave myself up
just wait for him to give me up
and find for his happiness
yes
i do love him
but i can't be so selfish of being want him to tolerate with me all the time
it's unfair for him
i want him to be happy always
im bad

maybe i will go and find him tomorrow
if he is not working
but i don't know what to say if i meet up with him
couple huh?
im suffer now
for my f**king mood
i can't control my mood now!!
i need a person to help me
im going to be crazy if it's continue like this
i will really be crazy!!!

suddenly
i feels the different of my house
everything looks new
and im blank
what's wrong with me?

day of my life

had a EXPENSIVE hair cut today
rm45 wey!!
i was shock when the boss told me the price
khai shin's bf is rm25
khai shin is rm35
and me...why?
she spend the least time on me but i had to pay more
blur already...
i can use this amount to buy sooo many things
instead of a hairstyle that im not very satisfied...
sad and pain-hearted
my money gone...LOL
and yeah i know i couldn't turn back already
just accept it...

anywhoos
i had a great night
went to megamall for movie ticket and play some games with khai shin
just wanna spend time actually
after i fetched my brother from his tuition center
we went for yum-cha
at santai
that's the 1st time i went
the place is nice
suitable for couple i think
and the food is okay too
i order a mushroom soup
keeping fit wey!
but still full coz khai shin give me some of her chicken chop
the taste not bad
besides, the price is reasonable also
better den sheerwood huh?
i gonna go there for my second time...hah



i'm going to stay at the factory whole day tomorrow
coz my dad have a meeting with MPK
about the KTV they want to open
LOL
i will be boring tomorrow
how i wish there is a internet connection there...
how i wish somebody will go and find me...LOL
who is going to go those place just to find me? idiot thinking

p/s: i found a medicine for my leg...hope it will recover soon
i wanna wear short pants wey!

loves
chloe tan


new hair cut...looks the same huh?

=.=''

went to swing yesterday
just drink a few cup of drinks and stay for an hour
coz it's boring...

today
2 people ask me to give them my blog link
LOL
i wont give
this contains tooo much of private already...

a boring day
woke up early in the morning just wanna send water for my dad
i sleep at 5am yesterday wey!
still have to pretend nothing coz can't let mum know =x
have a BIGG argument this afternoon
before my lunch
my mum and sis keep saying me didn't make cake for my dad
it's make me crazy
my dad never eat cake
then why i should make cake? it's a waste you know
due to not enough sleep
i angry
shout at them
my dad angry too
and ask me why must angry since they just say say
very funny huh?
they keep say me make for others but not for my own family member
keep saying!!
i can't stand of them
my dad punish me at last
he took a belt and beat me
i don't feel pain on my body
but on my heart!!
i ran to upstair and start to cry
nobody understand me
i hate this family!!
and i think of ran out from this house!!
i really angry on that time...

by the way
we went for lunch with my granpa and granma
and the things is settled
my dad say sorry to me and i did it too
however
finally i managed to make a durian cheese cake for him
it's still at oven now
can be eaten this night
bad day

moreover
i get scolded by my bf
it's make my mood worse!
i can't return to good mood until now
just wait for khai shin to call me
then i think i will be ok

conclusion of the day
angry

p/s: my leg get worse!!

loves
chloe tan

fulfill

my day is fulfill today

this morning
i went to factory
help my dad to do some account
finished finally
satisfied LOL

afternoon/evening
khai shin came my house at 3.30 and make a cheese cake for her friend
i think it's a birthday cake
but we done it quite quickly
just half and hour
coz i already prepare the ingredient nicely mar...=p
then we put it in the oven and steam bake for 2 hours
is a long time to wait =.=''
but
instead of spending time on wait for the cake
we went to Bukit Pelindung and suck some fresh air
too dirty inside our lungs huh? hah
it's been long time since i last went there
i think it's already half year
i got no energy and i lose to khai shin who went there for the 1st time
what a shame
she just talked with her bf and never looks at me
i'm like the follower
paparazzi i think LOL
still happy coz i had waited long for people to accompany me
and now i found it...
*winks

night
we went for yum cha after my class
there's crowded at old town
and there's no place for us
12 people wey!
so we change our place
LEAF!!
a nice and quite place
unfortunately
there's another geng of people who celebrate one's birthday
noisy LOL
khang sheng and chui mei went back early
so left 10 of us
choy mei, siting, khai shin, ah heng, joyce, jun hong, hamyu, nicholas, nicholas's gf
and me of course
chat lots and 38 lots
laugh like nooneknows LOL
1st gathering since cny
after having our tea
we went for fatman lok lok =p
most of us order for fried see ham
nice wey!!
we addicted for it
and plan to dabao 10 sticks for the next time hah
happy yo!!

wait for alex to come back
so that we could go for another yum cha...=)

but
sad thing is
they all said me fat already
yes, i admit it
but im keep fit now!
give me some time!!

conclusion of the day:
satisfied and happy =D

p/s: khai shin is coming my house for her cake's decoration tomorrow
p/p/s: weekend is coming!! i can out with my dear again..
p/p/p/s: im headache...because of the rains!!

loves
chloe tan

crying

crying
he cry in front of me today
for the 1st time
actually
he already cry in front of me many times already
but he never let me see it
he always turn over his face and pretend nothing
he pretend to be tough enough
don't wanna let me see his weakest side...
but today
he cried out
because of his family problem
i cry too
because too pain for me to see him such suffer...

in my opinion
i don't think guys look weak if them cry
i feels that it's a brave way to express themselves
and he choose to cry in front of me
and hug me tight
means i'm important for him
he choose to release out every feeling of him towards me
i appreciate it, really...
nowaday
he express himself very well
he will told me his feeling
his mood
i like the way he does
so that i could understand him better...


he cried because of his family problem
some argument had happened in his family
i can see it
he really care of his family
he want his family to happy always
smile always
he worry lots
care lots
he cares for his parents
don't want them to be so tired being work
although the salary isn't enough for him all the time
but he still willing to help
willing to do
coz he want to help his dad and mum
don't want them to be so tired
less their burden
but
he get a totally opposite treat from them
they scold him always
and blame him on everything
although that's not done by him
they even never support on what he done...

i can see it
he already stand for this for a long time
he didn't angry because he don't want have any argument in his family
he choose to be silence
by the word of LOVE
he loves his parents
dad and mum...

but today
he release them out
in front of me
i can see how suffer and how pain is him
I feels pain to see such situation...
for the 1st time..
i must care of him lots start now
I must be a people to care him the most
I don't want to let him feel lonely
you still got me!! ok?

he gonna be a good husband and good father in the future
i can see through the happening today...
because he cares of his family
he still laugh and say shame of crying in front me after release out all his feelings...LOL
just wanna let you know
never feel shame and don't shy to talk bout your things
we're couple
we should share our things together
express your feeling in the way you like =)
i never laugh you
and i will support you forever...
i love you
be happy always ^^

loves
chloe tan

haiz...

khai shin isn't coming back
she will only coming back this afternoon
so i can't go Pelindung today already
haiz...so sad

woohoo!!

woohoo!!
my dear accompany me go kemaman this weekend!!
im so happy LOL
hah
thanks dear!!

anywhoos,
i managed to play my favourite game today
it's indeed fun
but quite nervous for me
im so scared of being Heart Attact during the game!!
LOL
not so serious wey!
playing for almost 3 hours
just have to catch the time before the time pass up
huh...so nervous
but it's really fun
when you harvest and sell the product
get the money
you'll get the satisfaction *winks

start my slimming product today
feels thirsty and drinks looooots of water
if the bf saw me non-stop of drinking water
he will happy i think
hah
hope can see the result soon!!

p/s: can't wait for weekend LOL...yeah!!
p/p/s: going to Pelindung with kshin tmr!!

loves
chloe tan

exercise

i wanna exercise LOL
why nobody wanna accompany me one...
haiz...
long time didn't climb Bukit Pelindung already...
miss the view and air there
maybe go by myself this evening...hah
nobody would rape me also =p

loves
chloe tan

realize..

realize something today

i watched a movie today
in the movie
a man lose his beloved wife
but his friends accompany him all the time
he was seems to be happy
with his son

at the moment
i'm thinking that
will his wife feels unhappy if she see the moment he was so happy with his friends?
since they had just broken up
yes
just like me
i would unhappy if i see my bf happy although just break up with me
it's normal huh?
by the word of LOVE
but in the other way of thinking
the purpose of i been with him just want him to happy
and now
he was happy
so why should i unhappy?
maybe i'm think that he never love me?
so still happy although break up with me?
i'm indeed stupid of my thinking these time
and makes myself and him unhappy

yes
i realize something
some people doesn't show up their emotion in front of people
and try to happy in front of people who try to make him/her happy

i realize that
although he was happy at the moment with his friends
although he doesn't show up
but i think he was unhappy of what happen to us
very unhappy
just don't want to show up
and try to forget those unhappy thing
with his friends...
coz they just his normal friends huh?
why wanna show up his own feelings towards them?
he is Taurus
he just show up his real feelings to his beloved
that's me
i can feel it

this moment
i realize how much he love me
and how much he cares of me
although we was broke up

don't ask me what place am i in his heart?
that's no. 1
indeed, no suspicious
maybe no.2
no.1 is food!! hah
and i realize that his friends just a tools to control his unhappy feelings
yes, that's it!!

moreover, i realize that
if i think like that
i would be happy more
and makes people beside me happy
yes, that's you
i should think positively
and i should always think that how much he loves me
how much things he had done to me
but not just think of what bad thing he had done to me...LOL
although something unhappy is really happened
but
he never gave me up
and cares me lots day by day
i really appreciate it
and thanks to GOD
i have a bf like this

dear
i love u much
i will think positively start from now
and makes you happy all the time
i will accompany you
through my life till the end
don't ever try to leave me...=p

p/s: i gonna get heal soon...because of the medicine given by my beloved...thanks lots!!
p/p/s: i love blog!! and you of course...^^

loves
chloe tan

sick

being sick whole day
why never gets heal huh?

receive my slimming product today
hope can slim through that product LOL
although im not so believe in that
just try
won't have side effect is it?
and it's cheap!!
hah!

p/s: i found that im getting weaker day by day
p/p/s: 70% of going kemaman this weekend..hah

loves
chloe tan

touching..

那么一对情侣
女孩很漂亮，非常善解人意
偶尔时不时出些坏点子耍耍男孩。
男孩很聪明，也很懂事
最主要的一点.幽默感很强.
总能在2个人相处中找到可以逗女孩发笑的方式..
女孩很喜欢男孩这种乐天派的心情.
他们一直相处不错
女孩对男孩的感觉,淡淡的,说男孩象自己的亲人..
男孩对女孩爱甚深,非常非常在乎她
所以每当吵架的时候，男孩都会说是自己不好，自己的错.
即使有时候真的不怪他的时候
他也这么说。他不想让女孩生气.

就这样过5年，男孩仍然非常爱女孩

象当初一样.

有一个周末

女孩出门办事

男孩本来打算去找女孩，但是一听说她有事

就打消了这个念头.

他在家里呆了一天，他没有联系女孩

他觉得女孩一直在忙，自己不好去打扰他.
谁知女孩在忙的时候,还想着男孩

可是一天没有接到男孩的消息，她很生气.
晚上回家后

发了条信息给男孩,话说得很重

甚至提到了分手.当时是晚上12点.
男孩心急如焚,打女孩手机

连续打了3次，都给挂断了

打家里电话没人接，猜想是女孩把电话线拔了.
男孩抓起衣服就出门了,他要去女孩家.当时是12点25.
女孩在12点40的时候又接到了男孩的电话

从手机打来的，她又给挂断了.

一夜无话

男孩没有再给女孩打电话.

第2天

女孩接到男孩母亲的电话,电话那边声泪俱下.

男孩昨晚出了车祸

警方说是车速过快导致刹车不急，撞到了一辆坏在半路的大货车.
救护车到的时候，人已经不行了

女孩心痛到哭不出来

可是再后悔也没有用了.
她只能从点滴的回忆中来怀念男孩带给她的欢乐和幸福.
女孩强忍悲痛来到了事故车停车场

她想看看男孩呆过的最后的地方.
车已经撞得完全不成样子

方向盘上，仪表盘上，还沾有男孩的血迹.

男孩的母亲把男孩当时身上的遗物给了女孩

钱包，手表，还有那部沾满了男孩鲜血的手机.
女孩翻开钱包

里面有她的照片，血渍浸透了大半张.
当女孩拿起男孩的手表的时候

赫然发现，手表的指针停在12点35分附近..
女孩瞬间明白了

男孩在出事后还用最后一丝力气给她打电话

而她自己却因为还在堵气没有接.
男孩再也没有力气去拨第2遍电话了

他带着对女孩的无限眷恋和内疚走了.

女孩永远不知道

男孩想和她说的最后一句话是什么.
女孩也明白

不会再有人会比这个男孩,更爱她了！

爱上一个人的7个前兆
1.当你正在忙时，却把手机开著，等著她/他的短信..你已经爱上她/他

2.如果你喜欢和她/他两个人单独漫步..你已经爱上她/他了
3.当你和她/他在一起时，你会假装不注意他，但是当她离/他开你的视线 时，你 会急著寻找她/他...你已 经爱上她了

4.当她/他受伤或生病时，你会很关心她，替她/他著急..你已经爱上他了
5.当她/他和别人要好时，你会感到吃不知其味....你已经爱上他了
6.当你看到她/他那甜美的笑时，你的嘴角会扬起一丝得意的笑..你已经爱上她 / 他了。。
7.当你看到这篇文章时，心里想到某个人

touching huh?
cry for it

meaningful

爱情就像眼睛
除了眼泪，容不下任何东西
就算只是一粒沙
也会痛不欲生
当然，眼睛不会因此而盲
但会非常的痛，眼泪直流

爱情就像是一把盐
放在一碗水里就是两个人的爱情，味很浓
放在一桶水里面就是两个人的婚姻，味道会变的很淡
随着生活的继续
水的越来越多
慢慢褪去它最初的浓烈
失去感觉，平淡无味

爱情就像一條鱼
越是想使劲抓住，鱼儿越是奋力逃脱
即使已经握在手中，也得仔细保护
否則
它便会在不注意的時候溜回大海
让人怎样都找不著

爱情就像在等公交车
不想坐的公交车接二连三频频为你停留
而真正想坐的
却怎么也等不到
像是一场存心的恶作剧
等到公交车姗姗来迟时
却像约好似的连来两三辆，让人不知如何是好
无论坐上哪辆，都抹不去心头淡淡的怅惘
总担心错过的是否才是最好的选择
直到两车交会时从窗外看到车内的景象
才豁然开朗，或是懊悔不已

爱情就像一根橡皮筋
相爱的时候把他拉的紧紧的
不爱了
任何一个人先放手
留下的那一个都会被橡皮筋的反弹狠狠击痛

爱情就像是一道美食
每个人喜好不一
有些人
终其一生偏好同一种美食；
有些人
无法安于同一种口味，
总是太快腻了，
又转为品尝另一种；
有些人
明明尝进口中的食物已经走了味，
却还眷恋记忆中喜爱旳味道
强迫自己吃下去

爱情就像荡秋千
必须两个人面对面
心贴心，手握手
坚定自信的站在秋千上
你来我往
当你蹲下去时，她就要站着
当她蹲下去时，你就必须支撑着

爱情就像手电筒
幸福是电池
你就是正极，我就是负极
也可以你是负极，我是正极

只要我们完美地连接在一起
就会发出美好
快乐的亮光的哦！

meaningful huh?
found it on a website...
enjoy reading ^^

loves
chloe tan

meaningless

nothing special today...

almost had a crush when i long gai
coz of the stupid driver beside my car
and
had made some important decision for mr.youknowho
hope i can do it
persist LOL

loves
chloe tan

untitled

untitled
boring day i am having today...

morning
woke up at 10.30 in the morning
sunday wey!
coz i need to help my dad to do some bank in
haiz...so tired man
yesterday slept at 3am
but besides helping my dad
i could bank in some money too
coz near to BSN...
after that
fetched my mum to buy
toto
magnum
da ma cai
went home at 12
go out at 12.10
just wanna sent my mum and sis to cinema
they wanna back home to change clothes
im driver in my house =.=''

noon
do nothing
nothing to watch
nothing to play
nothing to eat
nothing to drink
im hungry and tired
waiting for my dear to have lunch
but he's got work to do
so
im not having my lunch
just lye on the sofa and watched some stupid movie that don't have theme at all
when i almost can have a forty winks
my mum called me!!
to fetch them back home again
im sooooo busy LOL
woke up from dream and went to megamall
having a bad temper of being woken up
went back to sleep again
but this time
can't sleep anymore
online
facebook-ing
friendster-ing
waiting for people to chat
but nobody find me
finally!!
lily and teng find me at the same time
we chat lots
38 lots
care lots
after chat for an hour
i need to do housework again-
iron clothes
so many clothes LOL..

night
watch movie
in the home...
where else?
not having my dinner too
coz im not hungry
just have a bowl of ABC soup
then
sit in front of the computer again
but still nobody find me
ok, exercise!!
ride bike for 20 minutes
enough..
aha!!
i find something!
ps wey!
long time din see him already
loads the game which i love the most
harvest moon
and play for almost 3 hours
it's still fun for me although i had already play this game for quite a long time
hope to have my OWN psp ler..
so that i could play this game much
OWN
yes
i don't want lend from others
hah
you know what i means?
saving money for my own psp
ngek ngek ngek
the day end up meaningless

p/s: im hungry now...regret

loves
chloe tan

i wanna have this!!!

sometimes...

im miss sometimes
LOL

sometimes...i will think that
am i suitable to be in love?
have i mature enough yet?
i don't even know

sometimes...i will think that
am i a good gf?
have i done something that should be done by a gf?
i don't think so...

sometimes...i will think that
have i treat him nice as he treat me now?
not just my opinion to answer this question huh?

sometimes...i will think that
if he doesn't want me already
are there any people want me anymore?
since im such bad
i don't know

sometimes...i will think that
can i live anymore if he leave me?
maybe can
maybe can't

sometimes...i will think that
am i change something for him?
does i?
nope...

sometimes...i will think that
should i be more gentle?
should i act more like a girl?
instead of act like a boy
i think that some people will love my attitude like this
not every guys like gentle girl right?
but mostly yes...

sometimes..i will think that
what am i doing recently?
have i hit any target or done something meaningful?
no...

sometimes...i will think that
should i date him?
but i scare to disturb him
in the other hand i wish to go out with him
contradictory

sometimes...i will think that
why is he love me so much?
since im bad...
stupid question from me and stupid answer

i don't think miss sometimes suitable for me
the most suitable name for me is
MISS THINKTOOMUCH
u know why...

p/s: i might go kemaman with kshin next weekend...
p/p/s: im going to teach her how to bake cake
p/p/p/s: im boring today...

loves
chloe tan

my bad

today's topic
my bad...

im bad...

1 )im bad temper
i scold everyone when i was angry
throw everything that i don't like when i was angry
never think bout people feeling when i was angry
easy get angry
hurt people's soul
especially my dear
im bad

2)im crazy
not much description
just crazy
you know why
LOL

3) im selfish
i always think of my own feelings
never think of people feelings
especially my dear
im soooo sorry
i will stand on your situation next time
i will think of your feeling
i won't selfish
i promise
but
im still bad

4) im annoying
im annoying all the time
whenver he was tired
or he was in bad mood
and busy
i always annoy him
just because of a message that he didn't reply
i could keep annoy annoy and annoy
im soooo bad
sorry

5) i have no brains
i always say break up with him
coz i really got no brain
i couldn't recognize how much he love me
and keep do thing that hurt him
i really got no brains
i have to train my brain more
to think logic again
i won't do something that hurt you anymore
i will try my best
i know u love me much
and so does i
im sorry

6) i can't give him love as he expect
sometimes
i think that i love myself more than i love him
but he doesn't
i know that he always love me much
and keep do something to prove it
change lots
i really appreciate it
but i can't change because of him
i can't control myself
im sooo bad
we had already been stick up for 3 years
but i still can't do something meaningful to him
im sorry

7) think too much
always think too much
suspect much
makes people unhappy...

8) ...
i cant think now
but once i can think of my bad
i will add it
my bad not just a little of what i wrote
i will continue writing...

conclusion:
im bad
so sorry dear
you're good enough
i know u change lots
i love u my dear

loves
chloe tan

whuah!!

whuah!!
today quite happy man
although can't watch mv with dear
but still shopping
eating
and chat lots

we keep chatting in the car
through our way home
it's a happy way LOL
and his friend, zi hao
funny people
happy chatting with them
especially my dear lar~~
hah

nothing much to say today
just trying myself to keep happy
and makes people besides me happy too
ya, that's you

p/s: i got a BIGG pimples on my face...hate it
p/p/s: i want to keep fit LOL
p/p/p/s: you are getting more and more pro...i support you






loves
chloe tan

sadness

today's situation
sick
today's mood
happy, sad

happy =)
happy for the day time

im sick today
so i couldn't go to work after work for half day in the morning
rest at the house and watch tv
the bf come and visited me in the afternoon
it was indeed happy time for me
although my mum & him scold me together
but it's still a warm situation
he hadn't come my house for long time already
since cny
long time huh?

my mum seems happy chat with him
and the most important thing is
scolding me
LOL
hope he can come my house more often
=))


sad
sad for the night time

he went out with his friend
due to my suspect
he even call his friend to call me for letting me don't worry bout him
because they are going out with zi hao's friends
that's girl
i shouldn't angry coz it's normal since his friend need his help
but it remind me of something
something that start from a situation like today
i start to sad
very sad
even cry while i was tuition...

i found that i couldn't believe him anymore
he said that the girl isn't pretty
so i don't need to worry too much
why boys always treat people based on girl's appearance?
if the girl is pretty, then they will treat them nicer
and vice versa
even nicer than me
yes
im sad again now
remind of something
something that i couldn't forget

start from new year
start from the moment he contact with her
our relationship gets worse
although he said that the problem is me but not that girl
but i can feel it
he start to don't care bout my feelings
start to ignore me...
even kuan how's birthday
he also never think of calling me go
he just wanna go with that girl
fetch that girl
just because the girl is pretty than me huh?
does her?
after that,
our relation gets worse and worse
finally
we broke up
but he still treat me as the same
just because he found a new partner
to accompany him
although she's not his gf
but he rather choose her instead of me
even i beg him
he also make a reply that we couldn't get together anymore
and call me don't annoy him...
from the time we broke
her request always get a good reply from him
going out all the time
even for valentine
and present her flowers
that's the painful happening for me
until now...
i still don't get a reason
why he could treat her so good?
everything she call get a good reply from him
even for the thing that he doesn't like to do with me
but why not me?

actually
we could don't break on that time
coz i date him out when valentine
wanna good back with him
but he refuse to go out with me...
the reason is he said never go out for 2 weeks
but now i know,
he had already good with the girl on that 2 weeks
and when i date him
he could refuse me and go out with the girl
maybe they had already arrange the activity for valentine?
so i get refused?
i don't know
and i don't wish to know
and then
we broke
but i still the person who was fault...

i know i shouldn't think of this anymore
but my pain never gets heal
sometimes i think that why i refuse so many people's date when we was broke?
and not going out with them?
coz i think that he still thought me as his gf
and i don't want him to jealous...
but i couldn't get the same reply
he never think of my feelings after we broke
it's pain for me
indeed

before this
i was quite believe in him
because he was loyal all the time
never do something that hurts me
but after the happenings
i couldn't believe him anymore
suspect all the time
it's hard for me
and him either
but i don't want to get hurt again
sorry

it takes time for me to believe him again
but i know i could do it someday

the things i said above is already past
now,
he treat me better and better
i really appreciate it
and try to forget the past
but it's really takes time...
he's not me
he couldn't understand my feeling
why i will so emotion?
but i will try my best
to forget it
although sometimes i will remember it
but it's getting lesser and lesser
maybe because my heart hasn't balance?
it really takes time
anyway,
thanks for your love
thanks for your good
i really appreciate it
i love you

end of blog
still sad now
hope to get happy soon

p/s: tomorrow im going to watch movie with him
i will get myself happy
p/p/s: i get a good result in accounting and bad result in english exam...
don't know want to happy or sad
p/p/p/s: im sosick
p/p/p/p/s: finding something to eat now...hungry man..but there's nothing
wanna eat cheesy wedges!! =p...


loves
chloe tan

i love this song!!

chaos!!

today's mood
sad, =(( excited =D and happy =)

sad
this morning
i think of something of what he said yesterday...
he said that kemaman is boring
so don't wish to go
but
indeed it is boring
then why he went with them?
but not with me?
because he will feel boring to go with me?
but happy with them?
if he really got heart
he will think that kemaman got a new zoo
we can go there right?
but...haiz...
im going to meet my friends
but they just go there to eat the stupid stuffed crab
he can accompany them
but not me...
im sad
for the whole morning

in the other hand
i think that
should i mind so much anymore?
although it's already past
but i still remember it and it hurts me
maybe he don't wanna remember it...
i think i shouldn't ask him to go there with me anymore
he won't go i think
i better find my brother and go myself
or kshin maybe?
waiting for her...
just don't wanna ask him anymore
get pain more...


excited
went to my dad's new factory this evening
it is indeed BIGG
but it isn't big enough
coz he never ask for my suggestion
there's still got place outside
but i don't know why he don't want to use that space
and now
he regret
but still excited for me to see my new working place
gonna move there next month =D
hope the things going on well

happy
i find him today
9pm
we went to our supper at 10.30
feel so happy going out with him =))
maybe because it's really
once in a blue moon?
hah
or maybe too happy of being play with him?
WWE i means
don't think so much
LOL


end of blog
the conclusion for the day
whoopsie!

p/s: he date me for movie this saturday,,,LOL
p/p/s: im getting fat
p/p/p/s: he's not reading my blog...=p

loves

chloe tan

im lost...

im lost...
yes, im lost again...
i don't know what i want
what i do and
what i think
im such a failure...

you know,
i don't wish to be at home with him
don't wish to go zi hao's place with him
because of the people there
make me uncomfortable all the time...
i told him that im not going to accompany him if he wanna go to zi hao's place this saturday again
but he seems like unhappy of what i said

in the other hand,
i don't know where can i go with him besides those places...
tc?
i don't think he like to go with me...
drive like no one know?
waste petrol
shopping?
nothing to buy
movies?
what to watch?
eat?
make us fat and no $
yum cha?
nothing to chat about...
except he got friends there huh..
club?
never ever think bout it...
???
it's that all the only places that we can go for?

every place i ask for to go only get 2 answers back
''i don't wish to go out''
''im tired''
even just for lunch or dinner...
i appreciate every second out with him...
because it's like once in a blue moon for me
weird huh? LOL


maybe im still not suitable to be in love...
although we had already stick up for almost 3 years...
failure failure


today's mood
unhappy =(
but i seems to get worse after i told him
so should i tell him my feelings anymore
for the next time?
or should i call for my friend and talk bout?
however she is in exam now..
the problems end without any ending...

went to gelora
closed engine
think bout our relation
deeply
''can i live happily anymore if i break up with him?''
''can i don't care bout what happened to him if i break up with him?''
''can i..."
''why somebody does it, but not me?''
''am i too annoying for him?''
think too much
cry again...
what's wrong with me!!!
i just know that,
if i break up with him
i couldn't ever be friend with him anymore...
the only ending is pretend like don't know each other before...
that's hard for me...
and for him either
but,
i never wanna this thing to happen
for now, for future
never!!
the only thing i hope now is my heart return to balance again...
it's hard i know
but i must try


Didn't eat anything for my lunch and dinner today
have a bowl of mushroom soup @ FICO as my supper
it's still taste the same - too salty
but it's enough for a day

end of blog
when can i find myself back?

p/s: wish to went for cinema this weekend...
but what to watch?
p/p/s: yes, i love you
p/p/p/s : im tired recently

loves
chloe tan