my blog is going to open

my blog is going to open to public..
shit
because of my stupid bro...>"<
hmm...whatever!! =p

too free to blog here
too less thing to mention about
too much things to care
hence
im tooooo busy xD

ok
lets say what i had done this weekdays

after the monday afternoon class
i went shopping with my bestie @ megamall
to buy something ''helpful'' actually
in the end
i spent for about rm150 just for 4 things
and im still own kshin 100 bucks!!!
a hard month to go...

finished with my january & february account this morning
just in 2 and a half hours
going to continue another 4 months tomorrow
ahh!!
boring of this kind of job

-sit all the time inside a cold air-cond room...yes, it is extremely cold
-pressing calculator all the time to find out a ACCURATE statement
-non-stop drinking water...wonder why? there's no toilet there =.=''
-no internet = no facebook + no msn = nobody to talk with
-hearing the same songs whole day since im lazy to download in home
*going to crazy very soon
GOD bless me

and i had decided
to finding for something easier to gain money
.......
what do you think??
gamble?
pirate?
prostitute?
a big NO NO NO
i only do legal things =)
dont tell me all i mentioned above are legal!!
im going to shut your mouth!! =/

p/s: kshin back tomorrow!! im superb happy
p/p/s: im allergy to the product i bought >"<
p/p/p/s: love ya~~know who i means??

end of my blog
i shoudnt write this since there is nothing special happened
and this is wasting my time
but
this is my aim of doing this!! LOL ^^

loves
chloe tan

im here

im still here


long time since my last update
but for what purpose for me to update myself?
nobody would see this blog...
im writing to past my time
and release out my OWN feelings
who cares?

but oh gost!!
my brother told me that he could find someone linked me in his/her blog
he couldn't remember whos the person
im wondering also...
may i know whos the person who know my blog?
except the dearest =)
aligato xD

post about this 2 weeks
i couldn't remember what i actually did clearly
but still some to write =)

last saturday night
i had a dinner with my family at kam mun lao
its the 1st time for me being there
the food was...
SUCK!!
and there was crowded
aint they scared of H1N1?
im so scare of it
but fortunately we were sitting outside
which had more ''fresh'' air to breath in =D
after the dinner
my bf fetched me and we went for our date
for no destination
just drive round and round and round around kuantan
and maybe for a cup of tea before home time?
but still
it's a happy moment for me
how about him?

last sunday
had a great breakunch=breakfast + lunch at ms garden
just dim sum actually
but still nice for me
i prefer those besides rice and mee
iiish
too plain =p
after that
went to megamall that's just behind ms
just went there for DIGI payment actually
but dad wanna watched for the sing competition
and we stayed there for almost 4 hours with my dad
longest stay ever
i mean with my DAD!!!
felt tired after that
but still
managed to play my computer before sleep

this weekdays
i was busy with my work as my dad was rushing on me
LOL
i just reached november 2008
still have 7 months to go
ahh!!
im going to crazy
tomorrow will continue bout it
still wondering where to start over
and when can i finished all of them
i gave myself a deadline
where is end of month september
hope i can get through of it these days
i need relax man!!

saturday night
went for date again
same date
stay in car and went to many places
his friends was holding a birthday party at afterseven
i think he wished to go
but dont wanna go with me
am i think too much?
whatever
i dont care

sunday is a boring day
do nothing for the whole noon time
except go for medicine for my granpa
he is suffering
pity
hope he can get well soon
my sister is held a birthday party at sunday night
and i...
had to prepare birthday cake for her
lazy to upload the picture of the cake
it was the greatest cake i made ever
LOL
proud of myself

since then
i was moody
for no reason again
so
i gonna stop here
wait for my next blog
if im free enough =)

loves
chloe tan

p/s: im going shopping tomorrow =D
p/p/s: going to meet jojo again! i miss him =)

this is so true...七种对不起

男孩和女孩从小就认识，
男孩经常约女孩一起去村外的池塘边捉小虾，
每次男孩总是满载而归，女孩却是两手空空，
女孩总是失落 的含着眼泪，独自一个人回到家，然后闷闷不乐。
晚饭前，男孩敲响女孩家的门，女孩一见是男孩，扭头就走，
男孩追上前，
对女孩说：“对不起，我把你的虾都捉 走了，给，我把它们养在小鱼缸里，送给你。”
女孩眉头一放，慧心的笑了，
就这样反复着他们纯纯的童年，转眼，他们各自成长着。
——纯纯的“对不起” 。


男孩总是喜欢戏弄女孩，经常会把女孩逗到哭，
然后又去哄女孩到她笑为止，直到长大后，也是如此。
男孩经常偷偷的把女孩的自行车轮胎的气放到没有，
然后躲在远处，看女孩着急的走投无路，等着女孩拨通他的手机，然后破口大骂他的小贼行为。可男孩，依旧那 么喜欢这样的女孩。
他窃窃的从远处走来，灰溜溜的为女孩推着那辆没了气的自行车，任由女孩在一旁发牢骚
男孩却暗自窃喜，
然后委屈的对女孩说：“对不起， 我知道错了。”
随即，女孩便会柔弱下来，告诉男孩下次不允许那样，
男孩点头，于是，那时的他们每天都充满着笑容。

—— “对不起”的快乐 。



大学毕业后，男孩和女孩各自有了工作，
男孩的工作总是很忙，有时一个月都休息不到一次，
而女孩总是抱怨男孩冷落了她，
终于，他们有了第一次的吵架。女孩委 屈的哭起来，
可男孩却很理直气壮的告诉女孩：“这是为了我的工作。”这场冷战持续了很久。
终于，女孩还是忍不住，主动和男孩和好了。
后来很多次男孩和女孩 都因为这样的小事而吵得不可开交，
可每次，都是女孩先妥协。
那年，女孩生日，
男孩答应女孩要给他过一个浪漫的生日，
女孩欣喜不已，她在家精心打扮，等着男孩回来陪她渡过这个美妙的生日，
这一等就是凌晨，女孩在睡 梦中醒来，脸上挂着泪痕，
男孩见到女孩，
心疼的为女孩擦去脸庞的泪痕：“对不起，嫁给我好吗？”
于是男孩拿出一枚戒指。

—— “对不起”也是一种承诺。



婚后，男孩的事业大有成就，经常有许多应酬
，而女孩已经成为一个专职太太了，每天在家为男孩准备热菜热饭，把家里收拾的干干净净，
她经常会去菜场买回一些小河虾放在鱼缸里养着，
男孩总问他为什么，女孩却总是慧心的一笑。
慢慢的，男孩每次回家，身上总是充满了不同的香水味道，
而每次没等女孩问，男孩总是忙着解释说应酬太多。
女孩黯然，那时起，女孩不太爱说话了，也不 像以前那么开朗了，
她总是喜欢成天的呆在家里，抱着枕头看韩剧，然后随着剧情哭泣，
夜深时，就会疯狂的大哭。
以后的日子里，男孩回来时，身上的香水味只有 一种味道了，
女孩从来不问，
可是男孩依旧说：“对不起，今天又去应酬了。”

—— “对不起”，谎言的开始。


渐渐的，男孩开始不回家，或总是在外出差，
男孩的事业越来越好，身边都是奉承的人，他每天都在别人的恭维下自豪的笑着，
而女孩，几乎不出门了，
她总 会去超市买上很多方便面，和一些必要的日用品，
然后把自己关在家里，这一呆就是很久。
从前，女孩会经常和男孩一起聊聊天，
而现在，她孤身一人，身边没有一 个可以说话的人，
每次打电话问男孩什么时候回家，
男孩总是仓促的回答到：“对不起，我太忙了。”
女孩，失落的扣上电话，那以后她再也没有问男孩什么时候会 回家。

—— “对不起”，只是个敷衍的方式。



女孩学着电视上的样子，开始打扮自己，
她觉得男孩不回家，也许是看腻了她，
她决定不再颓废，自己的幸福应该靠自己争取，而不是无谓的后退。
那天，女孩心血来潮，按照地址去了男孩工作的地方，
那是女孩第一次去，也是唯一的一次。
女孩涩涩的按下电梯，来到这个男孩经常说忙的地方，
她细细的 观察这个公司的每个角落，这里的一切，她都觉得很好看。
终于，绕过长长的办公走廊，她来到男孩的办公室，轻轻的推开门……
女孩愣住了，
眼前看到的不是自己 的丈夫，
也不是那个经常弄坏她自行车的那个贼小子，
更不是那个把虾放在小鱼缸里的男孩，
而是一个正在和别的女人做爱的男人。
那个女人坐在桌子 上，******的发出微弱的呻吟声，
那个男人，仿佛山林里饿极了的野兽……
许久，男孩才发现了女孩，男孩惊慌失措，忙把衣裤捡起来穿好。
可女孩，转身离开了。
男孩飞奔出去，追着女孩，
那晚，大雨袭击了整个城市。女孩不顾男孩的叫 喊，径直往前跑，往回家的方向跑，
男孩在女孩后面大喊：“对不起，我还是爱你的，对不起，我真的只爱你。”
可女孩，始终没有听见。

—— 这样的“对不起”太伤人。


男孩一直都没有找到女孩，女孩失踪很久了。
男孩的世界已经一片黑暗，无心工作，无心花天酒地，
他想不到女孩可以去哪里，因为女孩没有朋友，她唯一的 朋友就是男孩，
男孩终日守着电话机，手机24小时不关机，怕错过了女孩的电话。
这一等就是半年多。
快递为男孩送来一个盒子。
男孩打开一看，里面是许多河虾的标本，有的在树叶边休息，有的在水草里躲着，各式各样的河虾标本，旁边放着一封信。

“ 我始终没有勇气再见到你，可能是我太懦弱，也或许是我根本不想见到你，我想这些『警告：注意文明用语！』应该过的没什么两样吧，我很好，我学会了离开你怎 么让自己存活，我懂得了怎样赚钱养活自己，而不用每天等着你回家，为你烧一桌热腾腾的饭菜，直到凉了也不见你的人，我的手机已经不用了，因为我已经不会再 为你24小时的不关机，让自己饱受辐射的折磨。我懂得怎样去爱惜自己，珍惜自己的本来应该美好的生活。我想，我是可以忘记怎么去爱你的，因为你把我的爱弄 得遍地麟伤。
离婚协议书，就压在鱼缸的底下，你签完字，按照地址给我寄过来就行了。
对不起，我想我是真的累了。”

男孩按照地址找去，他满心希望能够见到女孩，然后让女孩原谅，并且告诉女孩自己不能没有她，
可是打开门的却是女孩的父亲，而女孩就站在她父亲的身后——是女孩的遗像。
女孩的父亲告诉男孩，女孩在写完这封信后，跳楼自杀了，
血肉一片模糊。

—— 原来“对不起”也可以是种结束。

那一年，男孩疯了。

每个人在自己的生命里头，一定会遇到一个自己真正该珍惜的人。请你好好的珍惜那一个人，不是每一句的对不起，都可以换来每一句的没关系……
千万不要辜负了自己心爱的人，那对谁，都不好……
不要随意地说出对不起......

yes,
this is touching...
yet true...

what to do?

got to know something today
something bout me
something bout my bad
yes
i agreed with it

im not a qualified girl friend
i really admit it
i suspect lots
guess lots
not trust him
don't even trust myself
im failed
extremely
FAIL!!

but what could i do?
break up?
use to say again to him
it's so hurt
and nothing will happen at last
coz he will never let me go
if i persist on it
it would be the hurtest thing for him and i dont even know what he would do
i dont dare to do it
and i dont wish to lose him
but
if it's continue
i would be harder for us
quarrel everyday
i dont trust him
and i dont believe him
why?
i dont know
past maybe?
so called past
so
should let it past
but i couldnt!!!
its really hard for me
seriously
and this lead to many problems between us

i hate it
i hate myself
and i hate to be his gf
someone who cares me much
and yet i dont know to appreciate
not dont want
is dont know
im fail in love
for what i study?
for what i work?
for what i success in everything but fail in love?
maybe
i really cant be a good gf
i tried my best to make him happy
but when i was in bad mood or maybe something wrong to me
everything i had done spoiled!!
i hate myself
deeply
i feels that im a person that used to hurt him
and so does him
maybe
i want a perfect love
a perfect bf
that dont have any mistake
im tooo native
nobody is perfect in this world...
because of my native
i couldnt stand whatever he had done
i couldnt forget!!!

GOD!!! please help me

what to do?


can i find a place that nobody would know who am i and forget me forever?

aaargghhh!!!!
tan kah ching!!!
what you want!!!
i dont even know

sux life!!!