ended

envy of these couples

looking for Travis Tan Chin Boon & his gf, AiXia Shah, who is a mix parentage love each other so much. they are the one who i found have a lot of pictures at facebook. i think they are number 1 at it. envy. look for their love story, and their picture, they seems like happy everyday and have a same great smile on each faces on their pictures. looking for their blog, it's so lovely as i could say 'bless you' by myself. that's the most lovely couple i had ever seen so far.

but the problems coming. AiXia is a mix parentage who mix chinese and malay, in the other word, she is islamic. would Travis sacrifice himself, his family just to be together with her? im looking forward for it. i hope they would happily ever after and solve their problem as soon. =)


back to the main theme

someone told me, couple should be happy everyday, who will smile when think of each other

and another one did, every couple got their own problem, no one is perfect, the problem is could they face it?

last one, if they really love you, they wont let you to be unhappy everyday


for the 1st one, i answer: yes, that's right, maybe i have that feels a year ago. but no more now. some more, i got a feel of hateness for some reasons.

for the 2nd one, i answer: yeap, this is true too, but we didnt seems want to face the problems we had, and the main problem is, we couldnt solve the problem we got

for the last one, i answer: maybe is my own problem to unhappy about. he did make me happy, but it seems like it's once in a blue moon


and now, i ask myself
am i happy now?
what i want for the most?
what do i want him for?
what does me, as a gf meant to him?


1st, seriously, no

2nd, i just want a lovely, simple, happy relationship. but i know for us, it's hard than everything

3rd, i want something that he couldnt do forever, because that's his ambition and i hate it extraordinary. i mean the people there. i hate clubbers. and this would never changed. maybe i will go for club someday, but surely, im going with the feels of unhappy.

4th, i think, nothing. he wont find me for tea, wont find me for movie, wont find me for breakfast, lunch nor dinner, have his own fun with his friend, didnt have any plan for us. yes, another once in a blue moon. im just the one who annoy him and need him to accompany me all the time. maybe im just a so called 'gf', who accompany him when no one find him going out, not a gf when he's out. or maybe just a satisfier, who satisfied whatever he need. im nothing for him, except for the words 'this is my gf'.

lastly
i had decided to over this kind of relationship.
i decided it after 3 days of thinking whole night, sorry
i know you will see this post one day, maybe in a very short period of time

1st to tell you, dont need to do anything or delete any notification on facebook, coz it's a big network, i will see it even not from your account. and dont try to cheat anything, since i got no more relationship with you.

2nd, we are ended and don't even a friend, i dont think we could be friend since then. im not as generous as you thought. and maybe stranger is better for us to face each other next time we meet accidentally.

3rd, i know you will live better, and so does i. i prefer single. because, im still lonely even i have a bf. and at least, i dont need to bother bout someone that doesnt really care for my feeling. maybe, maybe you will treat me nicely, but i know, it only remain for 2 days or just simply 2 hours. i dont want a relationship like that. i would be happier if im single.

4th, for sure, this is not your fault but me. if you wanna told other something bad about me, just do it. and im sorry for the way i let go

today is 4th nov 2009
means that we had been together for 3 years and 2 months, no doubt
and this period of time will not increase anymore, it will remain for '3 years 2 months' since now, forever.
we are ended.

bye, sorry and take care

the ring had been taken out, and it wont back to it's original position anymore.

regards
chloe tan